being mr. ramrod
photo by Scott Portugal Photography
My time at the International Mister Leather (IML) competition Memorial Day weekend 2017 was an experience I’ll never forget. The experience of brotherhood fostered at IML is one I have not felt with a group of men since graduating with my US Army basic training platoon at Fort Jackson, South Carolina way back in 1985. The organizers of IML deserve a lot of credit for creating an environment so conducive to building friendships among men in competition with each other. I am proud to have been one of those men at IML 39 and very proud to have developed friendships with many of them I know will last a lifetime.
The completion is broken into 3 categories: Preliminary Interviews — one on one interviews with the 9 judges; Physique & Stage Presence — affectionately referred to as Pecks and Personality, done on stage in front of the audience in jock straps; and finally Evening Gear — formal leather gear presentation when the 20 are announce. The top 20 then go on to another jock strap and a 3 minute speech about their individual platforms. Even with some early doubts about wanting to continue to compete I did through the formal wear competition. Admittedly with some relief, I was not called for the top 20.
Learning more about yourself is always good. It is not always easy. When I decided to run for the International Mister Leather (IML) title in October of 2015 I was in a very different place in my life. I had just ended a 9 year relationship, the longest of my life, and as a result began making many other changes in my personal life. I went back to the gym, I decided to forgo traveling to the same European destinations I had been traveling to for years in favor of exploring new places I had not visited before. I took a serious look at at everything I wanted, or thought I wanted, which resulted in downsizing my life in many ways, including my living space and expanding my life in many other ways. I had gotten sober again. The man standing on the IML stage Memorial Day Weekend of 2017 was not the man that decided to run for the title in 2015. He was a man much more comfortable with himself.
I won’t deny winning would have been fun, but it would not be the life changing dream I once thought it would be. Life had already changed, was already what I hoped the title would bring to it. As a result I had very mixed feelings when I wasn’t one of the top 20 called out. I had invested heavily in winning and despite knowing I wasn’t the best qualified candidate or a candidate that wanted to continue to invest as heavily, particularly in terms of my time, I still had to manage the disappointment. So, I allowed myself to feel the disappointment, but not to live in it. Utilizing tools I had adopted over the past 2 years I moved on very quickly.
I have no regrets about having competed at IML 2017. In fact, it will undoubtedly rank among the most memorial experiences of my life, not one of the greatest disappointments. I am proud to have stood on that stage with so many wonderful men full of passion and commitment to the leather lifestyle and many important causes. Mostly I congratulate all the Top 20 and particularly the winners: 2nd runner up Joe King, Halifax, Great Britain, 1st runner up, Geoff Millard, San Francisco, CA and IML 2017 Ralph Bruneau, Los Angels, CA.
Finally, I want to thank the many sponsors and individuals that helped get to the stage starting with my inspiration, IML 2015 Patrick Smith, and continuing with my friend, IML 2016 2nd runner up Adam “Pup Vino” Henderson, and both friends and sponsors, Troy Anicete, Anicete Designs, New York, NY for my amazing gear, BearMan and Jason Pelky both at LeatherWerks, Fort Lauderdale, FL for all the encouragement and advice, Stompers Boots, Fort Lauderdale, FL and Mr. Ramrod 2016 producer, David Howell. I enjoyed the ride!